Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
