News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
