i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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