Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
MIDGETS
????
So vagazzling was a success
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize