ya dads aren't the best wingmen
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
