belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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