i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
