I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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