were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
third nipple confirmed
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
