Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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