party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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