She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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