im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
