And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
