i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
