ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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