Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
