then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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