Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
