We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
