Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i permit you to call me
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
