it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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