dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
