i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
