You just made me feel so damn special
thus making me awesome and them whores
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
