As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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