you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize