Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
