In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He has the fingertips of a God
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