No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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