Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Randomize
