Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
