it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
