so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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