Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
