i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Boobs are out for the taking
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize