wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
