I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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