His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
