he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize