And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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