you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
