you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
