seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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