Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
