see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
