M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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