How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize