Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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