Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
