keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
