Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
