where does the pee come out of this thing
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
