Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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