I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
