She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
