all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize