i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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