I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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