I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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