dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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