trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize