Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize