just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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